While discussing an earlier post (The Agony Of Defeet) the other day with my coworker, he mentioned that it made him think of another procedure, the hernia exam. That made me think of a story from my teen years, my first hernia exam.
As young boys, we always talked about the dreaded hernia exam. None of us had had one yet, but we had always heard stories of how the doctor goes down there and fondles your junk and grabs it to move it aside. Scary! But, that's not what scared me the most. What scared me more was the thought of getting aroused during the exam. I was a teenager with raging hormones after all. Well, when I turned fifteen, I had to get a physical in order to get a work permit for my first job, the West End.
As I sat in the waiting room of the city's free clinic, I was a nervous wreck. I kept eyeing the doctors and nurses that walked by. But, I wasn't just looking at them. I was thinking to myself, "Gee, she's good-looking. I hope she doesn't do the exam. Oh, she's old. I'd be OK if she does it. Hey, there's a guy. I hope he does it." You see, I was worried that, if I got a doctor who I was attracted to, I might get aroused during the procedure.
Well, I'm finally called in. The doctor, the older woman btw, ran through the check list. Eyes, ears, chest, etc. Then, before I realized, her hand was under there and she was telling me to turn my head and cough. I did. Then turned the other way. Did again. . . That was it. it took all of ten seconds. After all that anxiety, it was a little uneventful.
Moral of the story: Don't get in a funk, let her grab your junk.
4 comments:
I was dancing in Dames at Sea about 12 years ago doing wings while I was tapping (believe it or not, I could do them) when I felt an awful pain in my back. By the next morning I couldn't even roll out of bed. I couldn't stand up because of the pain so I was taken to the doctors. The nurse asked me to disrobe everything and put on a gown. Then a very attractive blond doctor came in (female) and asked me what the problem was. We figured out that I had pulled my muscle off of the vertebra but not before she had me laying on my back while she lifted my legs individually as high as they could go. Of course the gown rode up to my waist and I was open for the world to see. As she was doing this procedure she looked back to my face and said," Hey, I know you, I saw you in a show a few months ago".
Two weeks later we were married.
Okay, I lied about the marriage thing but she was hot and remembered me from the show as I flopped in front of her.
That was funny!
Jim, that was HIGHlarious!
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