Sex Ed

OK, what's up with all the horny teachers these days. I saw on the news the other day that there were another three reported cases of teachers having sexual relations with students. I have one question. Where were these teachers when I was in school?

I'd like to think that, if I had a teacher who was giving me some back then, I would have kept my mouth shut for fear that I'd get in trouble and that it would stop. . . Of course, I don't recall having any teachers that I would have wanted to do that with. . . Is that mean? I'm just tellin' it like it T I is.

It's Spring Again

Ah, cherry blossom season. A beautiful time of year here in our nation's capitol. The temperature is getting nicer. The blossoms are blooming. People from all over the country come to take in the beauty. Smiles on their faces. You know what? I hate it.

Lots of damn people everywhere. Tons of traffic causing me to be late for work. Drivers trying to park everywhere. My quiet lunch time spot at the park full of tourist. Ugh!

OK, I guess it isn't so bad. It is kinda pretty. And they've fixed some of the traffic problems by closing some of the lots that caused congestion. Maybe I'll go take a walk and try looking at the blossoms from a tourist point of view. I have been saying that I need to take advantage of some of the free stuff in the city. Can't get much freer than looking at some goddamn trees. . . I mean some lovely blossoms.

Downtown Saturday Night

This past Saturday, I had a fun evening out at the DC Improv with Andi. We laughed, we cried, it was better than Cats. OK there was no crying or Cats, but it was a good time.

We saw some comic named DC Benny (can you guess where he's from?). He's been on Last Comic Standing, The Chris Rock Show, Law And Order, and a few other things. I had never heard of him, but he was funny. He had a few stories that ran a little long, but over all he made us laugh.

As funny as that part of the evening was, it got even funnier later. We decide to walk up Connecticut Ave. to find a place to get a cup of coffee. As we're walking, we look across the street and notice a crowd of people in front of a club wearing bunny ears. They then start parading down the street. Well, my friend decides that she wants to go over and meet them down at the corner. Girl, what, is you crazy. This is DC, land of weirdos. So, we crossed. You know what? I'm glad we did.

Everyone was all dressed up in either bunny ears, bunny suits, wigs, make-up, or all of the above. Some of them were carrying baskets and as they passed us, they gave us Easter candy. Mighty fun!

Now here's the best part. One of the partyers was a tall effeminate gentleman wearing platforms, a white jumpsuit, shades, and a huge Afro wig with bunny ears sticking out of the top. He referred to himself as "Disco Bunny!" Well, he came over and gave us both a huge hug. He had obviously been partying for a while already. How do I know this? Well, Disco Bunny reeked of booze and sweat. Nasty, but funny all the same.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

* * * Warning! * * *

Today's post is of a mature nature. Reader discretion is advised.

Guys rejoice! Evidently, women are OK with shorter sex.

There was a study done by the Journal Of Sexual Medicine (who knew there was such a publication) on the ideal length of time for sex. The study of random Americans and Canadians concluded that 7 to 13 minutes is the most "desirable" length of time, and that anything longer than that is "too long". Of course, it also said that anything shorter than 7 minutes is "too short".

Dr. Jane Howard, an Australian sex therapist, said in response to the study, "Usually women are quite happy with short intercourse, and are not bothered about prolonging it at all, but nearly all men want it to be much, much longer."

Hmm, I must tell you that I don't really have much else to say. I only posted this because I found it interesting. I do have to say that the results of the study surprised me. And, I guess I do agree with the doctor's statement about men. I mean, what man wouldn't want it to go longer. . . I mean . . . well. . . you know. . . guys? . . right? Let me hearya.

Odd Holidays

Haven Dwellers, do you know what is upon us? According to the National Confectioners Association, the third week in March is American Chocolate Week. I mean, isn't it great that they dedicate a week to people like me? Americans of my skin color?

So, in honor of this week's celebration, I want you to find your nearest dark skin brutha and break you off a piece o' dat.

BTW, what does the NCA have to do with dark skin black people anyway? . . .

Field Trip!

I've decided to organize a field trip. But, not just any field trip. I've decided to organize a field trip to Chicago. But, not just any field trip to Chicago. I've decided to organize a "ghetto" field trip to Chicago. There's a woman in Chicago who, for $20, offers a three-hour Ghetto Bus Tour through the south side of Chicago. On this tour, you get to see the "ghetto" up close, and you get to actually talk to some of the people who live there who tell you about the history of the neighborhood. One stop includes a dimly lit building that has no working elevator.

Oddly enough, it's getting harder and harder to conduct these tours because the city is gradually tearing down the ghetto areas in a $1.6 billion revitalization plan.

So folks, we had better get it together and book now. I wonder if a meal is served on the tour. Perhaps a grilled gov'ment cheese sa'mich and powdered milk. Or some ketchup soup. Oh, and don't worry about souvenirs. The tour ends with a visit to the "Ghetto Gallery" gift shop.

See more info at Beauty's Ghetto Bus Tours.

Fun Size Quiz

I found this candy bar quiz on AOL the other day. I'm ashamed to say that, out of 20 questions, I got 18 right. What can I say? I know my junk food I guess.

Check it out! See how well you do.
CANDY BAR QUIZ

Criminal Continued

My funny friend Dena said something to me today. She pointed out that I kept reminding her over and over again to read my blog. Then once she started looking at it regularly, there were less and less post. Sorry Dena.

Hmm let's see. . . Oh yeah, two weeks ago, Andi and I did the AMC Theatres' Best Picture Showcase. Each year, on the Saturday before the Oscars, AMC Theatres does an all day screening of the five movies up for Best Picture. For $30 you get an all day pass which includes admission and all the popcorn you can eat. They also have trivia games throughout the day with free movie passes as prizes.

It's loads of fun. . . if you can sit that long. Actually, we only did four of the movies. Because we had both already seen Juno we decided to skip it and come back later.

Hey, do you remember my previous post about sneaking into movies. Well, I've become a serial sneaker. I went to see Jumper and ended up seeing Step Up 2, The Bank Job, 10,000 BC, and Semi-Pro (I could have done without that last one, but the price was right). Yeah, that's right. Five movies. . . In one day. Can you say, "No life." I actually almost sneaked into a sixth movie, but I was way too hungry. The only thing I had eaten was some popcorn during the first movie.

Notice that locations, dates, and times are never mentioned in these post. I don't want to get caught.

Music Depreciation 101

Do you remember when you were younger? Do you remember when your parents used to listen to that "oldies" music? Do you remember thinking, "I'll never listen to "oldies" when I grow up. I'll always keep up with the latest stuff." I use to say that. Well now I'm older. And, guess what. I'm listening to "oldies" music.

I find that, as I'm getting older, I'm listening to current releases less and less. I sometimes find that I am forcing myself to keep up. I have Sirius Satellite Radio. I also have Music Choice on my cable. Both have every genre you can think of. But, what do I listen to the most? Old school rap, soul oldies, '70s through the '90s, and disco (and showtunes, but that's a different post).

Here's something else I've noticed. Having grown up a black male (believe it or not), most of my music knowledge is of "urban" genres. Now that I'm older, I'm kind of discovering old genres like classic rock and metal. If the speakers on your computer are turned up right now, you'll notice that Time from Pink Floyd's "Dark Side Of The Moon" is playing. Do you know that I had never heard of Pink Floyd until Joey played it one day at the West End in the late '90s.

I'm so square. Do the kids still say that?

And The Winner Is. . .

Ryan!

His fact about Henry "Box" Brown was voted as the best "I Didn't Know That!" fact. And readers, let me just say, "I didn't know that!" Great Job! Here are the results from the tie breaker vote.

Ryan's prize is "World Wide Recognition" (this is the world wide web after all), and if he chooses, he will become the next face of BruDog Haven (this is a low budget blog)!

Also, thanks to all of those who participated. I wish you could all be the faces of BruDog Haven. . . well. . . maybe not some of you. And, in case you were interested, here are the results from the first vote.


In the interest of space, I am moving all of the black history facts over to the BruDog Haven Auxiliary Site. Feel free to click here and read them any time you like.

Once again, thank you all. And, when next you come to BruDog Haven, you'll find the usual "review and comment on life" that you've come to enjoy on this blog.